We just returned from a 6-day vacation in the Mayan Riviera, the eastern
coast of Mexico. It was beautiful -- sunny and warm and perfect.
Husband and I snorkeled and read and soaked up vitamin D. Huckle and
Sally swam in the pool and "snorkeled" off an innertube and built
sandcastles. It was a wonderful escape from an especially cold winter.
All vacations are bittersweet. They have the highs of anticipation and
of leaving regular life behind for relaxation and/or adventure; and they
have the lows of returning to reality (work! school! laundry!)
afterward and no longer having a vacation to anticipate. When on
vacation, we are always aware in the backs of our minds that it will
come to an end. That's part of the fun -- that it's something new and
different, a break from normal life. The temporariness of vacation
heightens the experience.
In the case of our vacation, this one was more bittersweet than ever.
The highs were higher and the lows were lower than the typical vacation.
The trip was an escape from a reality that has been very hard to
accept. It's still a shock to me that I, someone who cares about and
vigilantly guards my health, have been diagnosed with cancer. More than
ever, I needed a temporary escape from dealing with constant
appointments and tough decisions, a break from cancer taking over my
life. And so the days on the beach were sweeter than ever before -- more
of a break than any other vacation has been. Six whole days without a
doctor appointment or even a phone call about doctor appointments!
But the return was also harder. Not just seeing snow falling as the
plane landed, but knowing that the following day would be more setting
up appointments and smoothing out insurance issues. Despite how healthy I
feel and look, it's time to own up to the fact that I am soon to
undergo a big surgery and months of chemotherapy that will alter how I
feel and look.
Today's gratitudes:
- a safe vacation that met my high expectations for relaxation and sunshine and family time
- 2 phone calls from friends offering help as needed
- a chance to volunteer at the kids' school, something I will not take for granted as my health worsens
- quiet time alone in the house
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