Recommendations for Newly Diagnosed Patients

1. Don't despair! The diagnosis "breast cancer" sounds horrible, but women go through this every day and come out strong and go on to live healthy lives. And don't obsess about how you got it  -- I lived a healthy lifestyle and had no known risk factors but got it anyway. My oncologist said that's true of most patients.
2. Bring someone along to early doctor appointments, not only for moral support but to write down all the information and next steps. It's overwhelming to suddenly find yourself a (potential) cancer patient and confusing to remember the many, many details while in the middle of such an emotional situation.
3. Start a folder or 3-ring binder for all the information you'll be given. Again, have the person who accompanies you to appointments write everything down for you so you can just listen.
4. Check the public library for the most up-to-date edition of Susan Love's Breast Book. It's a great resource for any woman -- diagnosed or just concerned about breast health. It's detailed and all-encompassing . For a quick resource that covers the basics, try: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/idc/treatment/local.jsp
5. Get plugged into a group of local survivors and/or patients. They are brimming with practical advice and can guide you toward nearby resources. It should be easy to find a group through your local hospital, your breast surgeon, or YWCA 
6. Usually the breast surgeon is the consulting doctor who gives you the most information. She/he should be pro-active in addressing your concerns (should know what patients need to know) and should tell you who to contact if you think of more questions after your appointment (most breast surgeons have a very caring staff and/or give out their email address). If you are not comfortable with this person and their staff, ask around to find another doctor. Also, unless you have any unusual or life-threatening case, it shouldn't be necessary to seek out The World's Most Famous and Highly Acclaimed Doctor -- most treatment is standard (not including reconstruction; see below). But you'll might feel better if you get surgeon recommendations from other patients or meet other patients with the same surgeon as you.  
7. Breast reconstruction should be covered by most insurance companies and -- to me -- made a major difference in my emotional well-being during and after treatment.  I recommend interviewing several specialists, because philosophies and techniques vary HUGELY. Some do quite drastic rearrangements of your tissues... There are many options available, and YOU should be allowed to chose among them. If you don't like a particular doctor's methods or feel that he/she is pushing you to accept their preferred technique, try someone else. A local support group is very helpful for learning about reconstruction options (assuming the participants aren't all using the same medical group) or final results.