The ultrasound looking for cancer brought back vivid memories of other
times I had lain on that table, looking at the images of Baby Huckle and
Baby Sally growing in me. I found myself nonsensically scanning the
screen for a beating heart, even though the probe was nowhere near my
abdomen. And, obviously not seeing any beating heart, it struck me all
over again why I was there. It was chilling, literally (you know what I
mean if you've had one of those probes run across your naked flesh) and
figuratively.
Oddly enough, the experiences have some things in common besides the
technology used to image them. Both were experiences of heart-pounding
anticipation and of having a secret inside me that would rock my world
and the worlds of people who love me. Both were mysteriously growing
inside me and using my metabolic energy to feed themselves.
And obviously that's where the differences end: one was a sweet baby,
desired and already loved. The other was cancer, dreaded and detested.
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